GOP Debate Part 3: Pravda's Plan for America

See my dissection of the first GOP debate at Parts One (Primetime) and Two (Happy Hour) of this series. See also my answers to the Primetime debate questions in Part Four.

As promised, and delayed, for the edification of my readership, I have decided to answer each of the questions (insofar as it makes sense for me to do so) raised in the first Republican debate. My answers will be in bold. My ground rules are as follows:

• Given that it takes much longer to type than talk, I won't be timing my answers. However, to simulate the time constraints laid upon the candidates, I will limit them to one, or at most, two paragraphs.
• The debaters spoke without the benefit of notes. So will I. There will be no links within this text. Any citations made to any sources whatsoever will thus bear an equal chance to those cited in the actual debate of being wrong, and you are perfectly welcome to tear me apart for this.
• Answers will be off the cuff. There will be no extensive editing of these paragraphs, sorting of sentences, or the like. Sufficient evidence of the above will be given by how much less polished I will sound. I'm man enough to face this.
• You do not talk about Fight Club
• Yes, I looked that last one up... rules begin now.

Post-Debate Wrap-up

See my continued dissection of the first GOP debate at Part Two (Happy Hour) of this series. See also my answers to the Happy Hour debate questions in Part Three  Part Four.

All in all, this was a very entertaining debate. While, at times, I wondered if I had managed to pick up the Israeli Prime Minster's debate instead, and it's never fun to see that the consensus position on the Middle East is that we need to face off against ISIS and Iran AT THE SAME TIME (because strategy is unworthy of 'Murica) there were still some reasons to hope. A full ranking and discussion of the candidates follows the jump.

"70+ Celebrities Who Are Christians"

Christianity has apparently receded so far from the general consciousness in the English-speaking world that Ranker.com's list of 70+ Celebrities Who Are Christians requires a short description of this religion. If you were unaware of this obscure sect, our host, "Celebrity Lists" tells us, "A Christian is an individual who believes in the teachings of Jesus Christ." Also, in case you don't know of any successful members of this upstart, fly-by-night operation, we are reassured that "Many famous actors, musicians, and athletes practice Christianity today." The more you know, huh?

What I'd Do If I Were You

If I were you, someone who is in a completely different business than me, with completely different constituents, I would invite a subcontractor of mine to come on to my television program, a subcontractor who responded to an imagined slight on my part with a profane snit.

Johannesburg Never Sleeps (But it Spends a lot of Time in Bed)

From Moloko Moloto of IOL News: ‘Sex shop or not, you wait your turn’.

"Former Limpopo ANC Youth League secretary Jacob Lebogo pleaded on Tuesday with the Polokwane Magistrate’s Court to release him on bail immediately so he can take care of his sex shop. [...] Lebogo told the court that while his Pleasure Parlour adult shop had seven employees, it depended on him for survival."

How will the South African economy survive this setback to it's vital sex shop industry? Will the world economy collapse? Stay tuned!