Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Democratic Debate #1 Stream of Conciousness

The rules will be the same as last time. I'll see things, I'll say things. This time, I'll occasionally throw in time stamps, in the hopes that this will be readable this time. Also, unless this gets too long, I believe I'll just do the whole thing in one post.

The Pregame

CNN in Espanol? I hope they don't pander in Spanish as well... well, at least then I won't have to understand it!
8;05 PM: Anderson Cooper admits Democrats are boorish.
8:08 PM; "They've all come prepared." Good, then this will hopefully be better than the Republicans...
8:10 PM: A half-hour pregame? Politics really are just football for nerds.
8:13 PM: "We are just minutes away" 16 minutes is not equal to "minutes away."
8:16 PM: "The candidates are going to try to move to the left." If Bernie Sanders were any more to the left, he'd be in Nascar...
8:23 PM: "Only a few minutes away" 7 minutes is not "a few"


Obama

8:30 PM: His big achievement he puts out front is reforming Wall Street? But, he didn't?
An America that's better than ever? Given the filth the Democrats have delved into recently, I can't well imagine that they could think of anything else to make it any worse.
8:33 PM: This commercial just reminds me once again that we have womens' votes to thank for the abomination that this country has become. Thanks weaker sex!
8:36 PM: Save Africa! the Commercial. Going back to my football comment, is this a debate or a Notre Dame game?

Game On

8:40 PM: By the cheers, Clinton, then Sanders in second. O'Malley in last, just ahead of Sheryl Crow. She's got to polling at -2.
Kind of surprised at how white the audience looks. Don't Black lives matter any more?
8:47 PM: Chafee drinks so sophisticated.
Man does he look happy to be there!
Sounds kind of like Kasich, except actually able to string his achievements into a narrative. Kasich, take notes.
"I have high ethical standards" IF you have to say it, you either don't, or this is a cover letter. Hiring managers LOVE ethical standards!
8:50 PM: Mr. Webb would be doing really well if this were still 1970's America. Pretty sure Dems are no longer the party of "working" people. More like welfare people.
8:53 PM: O'Malley: "There are a lot of things I do better than other people." Somebody's been taking notes from Trump!
"70% of people are earning less than they were before..."...because of the things I just lauded before.
8:55 PM: Was liking Sanders until just about now. Scientists have been unanimous about a lot of things that later turned out to be false.Science is only settled until somebody thinks up better science.
8:58 PM: Eliminating our country's main source of energy and raising taxes will improve our economy. 
"And joined the rest of the world!" I bet Africa, Asia, and Latin America don't have paid family leave. Why so Eurocentric Senator Clinton?

Concern Trolling

9:02 PM: Let the talking over moderators begin...
9:04 PM: I'll let Senator Sanders ruminate over what separates America from Europe. What indeed?
9:07 PM: "Aversion to foreign entanglements" Keep talking Chafee... that's the good stuff!
9:09 PM: Nice dodge, O'Malley.
9:11 PM: And Anderson Cooper admits that nonwhites are shameless tribalists. Also, Webb just heartily pissed off all non-African seekers of gibsmedats.

Waving the Bloody Shirt

9:12 PM: Cooper getting a little salty here.
Wait, so Sanders is actually not that anti-gun? The sad thing is, by today's standards, he's not all that bad of a candidate. He's got my vote over ¡Jeb! at least.
9:17 PM: O'Malley is shocked that people exist outside cities. And again, the socialist is the MOST REASONABLE man there.... well except Webb, but sadly he probably doesn't count.
9:20 PM: Really, Senator Webb showed a lot more balls than most of the Republican field would in this venue.

Putin on the Ritz

9;22 PM: Oh but Russia is part of the solution to the conflict, Senator Clinton, just not the solution you want.
9:23 PM: Senator Sanders, stop making sense!!! You understand who you're talking to, right? They'll never understand!
9:26 PM: Presumably President Sanders would use force if someone broke into his house. With his gun. The way it should be. Also, apparently whenever it kills Serbian Christians (9:27).
9:29 PM: O'Malley looks at Hillary when he contradicts her. +1. Also, he thinks that Assad invaded Syria...
9:31 PM: A weak little "thankyou" isn't going to do it Cooper.
9:32 PM: "Body language"
9:33 PM: Senator Sanders clearly zoned out. Just like me! He's really doing a good job of making me almost like him.
9:35 PM: "I'll get to that" (and what difference does it make?)
9:36 PM: Webb expects the President to request Congressional approval for war? Why it's almost like he thinks America has a Constitution!
9:38 PM: The only two semi-sane guys up there are "good friend[s]" Shocker.
"War should be the last resort" Sage words these.
9:39 PM: Chafee has an interesting way of speaking.
9:40 PM: "Our greatest ally, Israel" Not Britain, Senator Webb? Not France, who won America her independence? The guys we send billions of dollars a year to for, well, nothing, are our GREATEST ALLY?
9:41 PM: "The planet we leave...may not be habitable" So where exactly do you think that carbon came from, Senator Sanders? Also, if carbon could make the planet uninhabitable, then how in the world did plants manage to sequester it in the first place, the planet obviously having been uninhabitable before that?

Benghazi

9:45 PM: Cooper: The fact that you've dodged responsibility for things in the past, what does that say about your ability to deal with crises in the future? Clinton: It says I'll be able to dodge responsibility then too!
9;47 PM: Keep talking, never apologize. This is how you win.
9:48 PM: Yeah, I'm pretty tired of hearing about the emails as well. It's like the GOP thinks we still live in a country with rule of law and ethical standards. Fools.
9:50 PM: "Senator Clinton, do you want to respond?""No." LULZ! It's worth noting right now that the Democrats are a lot more polished, both in what they say, and how they say it.
9:50 PM: O'Malley's Disco Inferno.

The Comparative Value of Black Lives

9:51 PM: Black guy wants white people to say that their lives are irrelevant. ...So why should I care about you peoples' civil rights again?
9:52 PM: O'Malley tries to dodge arguing for his own genocide.
9:54 PM: Webb just pissed off millions of blacks and he doesn't have a clue. I can sense the "I can't believe!" and "I don't even" and "2015!" wafting from Salon and Tumblr as I speak...

Income Inequality

9:57 PM:Free college, because it's not worth anything anyways.
9:58 PM: Sanders: Damnit. Beat me to it!
9:59 PM: "The experts tell me" Hillary Trumping it up!
10:00 PM: Sanders: "That's not true" Hillary: lol. Seriously, the Dems are just a lot more personable than the GOP. They look like they are on the same side, while the GOP looks fractured and divided.
10:02 PM: "Congress doesn't regulate Wall Street, Wall Street regulates Congress." So many people hurrying to make memes right now. The website that lets you put text over pictures is probably crashing hard right about now.
10:03 PM: "We've been around a cumulative quite some period of time" Lol. Good one. Self effacing AND subconsciously suggesting that Team Dem is wise and experience. Skills. Ross Jeffries would be proud.
10:06 PM: Webb is really getting salty about time. Don't point out the hypocracy Webb, it doesn't work. Just take what you want. Have you learned nothing from the GOP debates?

Invasion

10:13 PM, 10:15 PM: Comprehensive Immigration Reform = Kicking the can.
10:15 PM: Fucking O'Malley is so damn smug about committing treason. It's like he's going to roll out and transform into a Prius.
10:17 PM: "Put down their ruts" Nice accent.
"I wish everyone in America could meet with these young people." All of you do. And that's why we don't have a country any more.
10:18 PM: "Xenophobes" Better than selling out your children's inheritance, traitor.

Snowden

10:22 PM: Chafee: pro, Hillary: con, O'Malley: con, Sanders: pro, Webb: uhhh I uh... other stuff

Nobama

10:25 PM: Being a woman is how Hillary will not be a third term of Obama. Really astute there Senator...
10:26 PM: Senator Sanders will not be a third term of Obama because he'll start the Communist Revolution.
10:27 PM: ...And "good friend" Webb just shoots him down. The revolution will not be televised!
10:28 PM: O'Malley's revolution is the neolithic one...

The Final Countdown

10:33 PM: "I'm a woman! A woman damnit!!!"
10:35 PM: Senator Clinton does a good job of letting shots roll off her and refocusing peoples' attention. Again, the Dems are like the NFL to the GOP's Pop Warner.
10:36 PM: Anna Bettis is hot.
10:38 PM: Again, the Dems are very polished. Webb even looks like he doesn't hate America!
10:40 PM: "President Obama and I were hunting the Chinese" Be velly velly quiet...
Anderson Cooper sure is thankful for people ignoring his time limits!
10:41 PM: Basic economic principles are "Republican scare tactics."
10:42 PM: Defunding murderers = "Big Government"

Hey Hey Hey!

10:45 PM: Well I agree with Sanders on weed at least. A very overrated drug.
"Are you ready to take a position tonight?" Clinton: "No." Lol, the laughs keep coming! This was a lot more fun than the GOP debate...
10:47 PM: How has President Obama  had trouble getting the Republicans to compromise? They've pretty much bent over on call! How many Americas wish the GOP was even a fraction obstructionist!

Last Questions

10:53 PM: Chafee: I hate energy.
O'Malley: I hate freedom.
Hillary: I hate people you hate.
Sanders: I hate people who you should hate.
Webb: I kill those who hate me.
10:57 PM: WACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:58 PM: I'm under 30. I both want to bash immigrants and not let gays marry. I think O'Malley might just be wrong.

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