Wednesday, September 17, 2014

What I'd Do If I Were You

If I were you, someone who is in a completely different business than me, with completely different constituents, I would invite a subcontractor of mine to come on to my television program, a subcontractor who responded to an imagined slight on my part with a profane snit.

Mind you, apart from using the work of said subcontractor to add musical flavor to the intro of my show, neither that show, nor my product have anything to with that woman. However, as a business, it is my duty to air the views of disgruntled not-quite-employees to all of my customers.

I will then give this woman, an example of whose eloquence has been attested to above, ("Fuck you!") valuable airtime. This airtime: which could alternately be used for commercials, or potentially (and I know this is a revolutionary concept) to talk about my actual product, will then be utilized to address a non-primary demographic of my business on a social issue that has no particular relevance to my product, other than that one of my employees did something concerning it on his off time. (I look forward to hearing my investment bankers talk about the perils of crack use as well.)

[insert meaningless rhetorical flourishes, "We cannot turn a blind ear?" "This has to be important?" ...I'll work on it.]

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