Saturday, September 13, 2014

"Cougar Life" Commercial : On MILFs and Pop Culture

There's a new commercial making the round on YouTube starring Julia Ann.  Don't know who Julia Ann is? Well congratulations, you watch the good kind of porn. Anyway...

The whole commercial is here:

As the ad begins a gleeful older, but admittedly still not ugly, blonde walks up to a younger woman at a bar and shoves food in her face. "You need a sandwich."

Putting aside whether this is a socially acceptable thing to do anywhere in America, the girl didn't especially need a sandwich.  She appeared approximately the correct weight for an asian female her height. (Whoever did the casting on that part was phoning it in.) But ok, point taken that some younger women can be concerned with their weight to the detriment of having fun sometimes (that was the implied point.. right?)

Next, MILFy McMILF walks up to a couple of their date. "Oh.. so you're a computer geek" sighs the younger female with a look that is some mixture of boredom and superiority. "You fold sweaters for a living honey" reminds Julia Ann. (Of course in real life Julia Ann isn't exactly curing cancer either, but skipping the ad hominem argument...)

This exchange is probably my favourite in the commercial. It makes the perfectly valid point that young western women are bored with responsible, financially-stable, employed men and instead would prefer to chase a "bad boy."  It does so in a clear and concise manner and with the correct amount of disdain all around. Well done, actually.

Then a brief interjection for the product -- a dating site for younger men and older women. Terrific. It's been tried before but okay.

Finally, a young woman and a man sit at a table in this bar/restaurant. "Buy me a drink?" says the young woman with a slightly caricatured evil grin.  I'm a little unclear on how they were already sitting down at the table together if they weren't on a date... her question would have made more sense if they placed her up at the bar... anyway...

Protagonist-MILF shoves her aside with the sound of breaking glass (I know it's a commercial but I mean... shards of broken glass... is she alright?) and delivers the game-winning touchdown phrase "how about I buy YOU a drink". Amazing twist of traditional gender roles.. I guess...

So what's wrong with this commercial? Well it suggests that the solution for mens difficulty with young, attractive, high-maintenance women is to give up and get with some washed-out divorced hag. Hell, why stop there? Take quitting to the logical conclusion and join the priesthood or see if you can voluntarily turn gay (I doubt you can, but try it and post your results in the comments section). In for a penny, in for a pound.

The answer to the problems (that are indeed well laid out in this video) with attractive young women is to make changes in how you respond to them. This might be by taking up a hobby that sounds more interesting than being a "computer geek," facing "bitch tests" with a more badass attitude, or in the extreme cases relocating to eastern europe or southeast asia to get away from western culture.

But for the love of God, just say no to old chicks.

1 comment:

  1. "a [...]blonde walks up to a younger woman at a bar and shoves food in her face.[...]whether this is a socially acceptable thing to do anywhere in America[...]"

    Given the rise of the fat acceptance movement, decline in social mores, and general lunacy amongst the population, I'd say give it time - 10 years max.