Following up on the excellent posting on Living the Villain Lifestyle I could not help but notice there was one shortcoming: the safe. While not trusting all of your money or emergency possessions to a bank goes without saying, keeping a safe in your apartment is impractical.
A safe small enough to be wheeled in by you and your friends is small enough to be wheeled out by a criminal and his cohorts. A safe bigger than this well... how are you going to get it anywhere? More to the point, if you are wanted by the law, the first place the police will look for you is anywhere near your home. You can't return there once you're on the run.
No, the correct solution is a dead drop in the desert, and I'll show you how for under $10.
Step 1 - Building:
No, the correct solution is a dead drop in the desert, and I'll show you how for under $10.
Step 1 - Building:
The first step is to pick up some 3-inch PVC pipe (schedule 40 will do, schedule 80 is overkill). Depending on where you live this will be at some type of hardware store. A foot might do (depending on what you are trying to fit in there) and will only cost around $3.
Next you'll need two 3-inch end caps. Note the pricing below. 3-inch PVC is where the price break occurs. Anything larger than 3 inch and you're beginning to pay a considerable markup. Two endcaps brings you up to $3 + $2 + $2 = $7.
Next you'll need two 3-inch end caps. Note the pricing below. 3-inch PVC is where the price break occurs. Anything larger than 3 inch and you're beginning to pay a considerable markup. Two endcaps brings you up to $3 + $2 + $2 = $7.
And finally PVC cement. Don't try to use random glue lying around, you need to properly melt the PVC plastic together to be watertight. This last item only adds $2 to the equation, bringing the grand total to around $10 with tax.
At this point some readers will be asking, "But Dimitri, can't you simply buy a pelican case for $70 and save the effort?"
You can, but remember -- we're bad citizens, not paranoid preppers getting off to the idea of the apocalypse. The hope is that you'll never need to resort to digging this up, so save the $60 and instead make it rain at da club (or whatever you do).
Step 2 - Burying:
The only step remaining is burying it, but I've seen mistakes made so I'm going to spell out a few final things:
- Go far away from the road (not only might people see you burying it there, but construction, metal detectors, and erosion could expose it)
- Don't leave footprints that stop right where you buried it (people might just see them and wonder what's buried there). If possible, bury right before a forecasted storm, so that the rain eliminates all footprintss.
- Pick somewhere you can still access well enough to bury it and get back (If you don't own a dirtbike, assume you can only run a few miles in the hot desert. Also, bring water. I mean, it is the desert...).
- Try to pick somewhere you can find again, if necessary, without a GPS (you don't know if you'll have one when everything goes to hell). Using landmarks can help, but this may or may not be possible.
I finally have a safe place to put all of my sticky notes that read "Pravda Zvitazi"! Good deal!
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note, for those put off by the concept of a "villian" lifestyle, remember that it's only wrong to be a villian if the establishment, if the center, if the power structure is good. The word "villian" itself originally just meant "serf". As such, it was an expression of the cosmopolitan elites' disdain for the people they ruled over.
Now, as we face an elite every bit as contemptuous, without the restraint of the Christian faith to leaven their tax farming, their disregard for human life, and their contempt for anyone unlike themselves, we should embrace what they throw at us. Agree and amplify. Because one day we'll either be living the villain life or the coward life. Choose.